10% - I ROCK!!!

Today I reached Milestone number 1.... I have lost 10% of my body weight since February. That makes it 12.6kg total. I am so so proud of myself, and you know what, I have done it all on my own! No Weight Watchers, no Jenny Craig, no Meal replacements... Just pure willpower and determination. And a lot of damn hard work at the gym and out walking. Oh and eating really really well.

I am so so happy at the moment! Things are travelling so well in my life. I am dropping the kilos, I am happy at work, and I have met a wonderful man. He is only a friend at the moment, and I hope for something more, but I'm just going go with the flow and see how things travel with him. If it doesn't happen, then I'll be disappointed, but I will have made a wonderful new friend.

I have been doing a bit of hiking in the hills and loving every minute of it. Have been going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week, and am loving having a personal trainer. I love feeling sore for a few days after I have seen him... cause it makes me remember how hard I have worked.

My life has changed hugely since breaking up with Andrew. I feel so alive and in control, and doing the things I want to do. I am achieving my weighloss goals, and becomming so much fitter and stronger. I am doing a 12km fun run/walk in September, and I think I will achieve that easily. Next year in Oct I want to do a 100km walk in a 24hr period.... This is my big exercise goal, and I plan to train hard for it over the next 12 months. And my new friend Dave is keen to do it with me.

So the next few months are filled with more exercise and good eating, 2 trips to Melbourne, and trip to the Flinders Ranges (with Dave :-) ), and then a trip to Perth in Nov. I think I will need the Christmas holidays to rest!!

And you know what I think is one of the key things to my weight loss... I am HAPPY. Sure I have stresses in my life, but I am learning not to let them get to me like I used to. Mum has been in hospital for 5 weeks, and as sad and stressful as that is, I have not let it bring me down. I go to the gym or for a walk and just work away the worries. And having a new friend in my life certainly helps too.

So Leanne's world is OK at the moment...

Still here!

I haven't had the inclination to post since my last one. Life has been very up and down, but am pleased to be riding on an UP wave at the moment!!

I have spent a bit of time thinking about life in general, and spent a day by myself at a town along the coat to try to get my head around things. Since doing that I have been feeling so much better, and so much happier with life. I am moving forward, and although I still feel down when I think about Andrew sometimes, on the whole I am a lot better.

I have been actively losing weight, and have lost 7.5kg since the beginning of March. Its not HEAPS, but its a good start,a nd I am determined to drop a lot more weight over the next 18 months. I'm really pissed I let myself become so big, but the main thing is I'm doing something about it now. I joined a gym, and have a personal trainer, so I am really getting some good exercise and strength training in. I still walk 2 times a week, and the most amazing thing was this week I needed to go for a walk on Monday cause I hadn't been for 4 days. It wasn't a 'i want' to go, it was a 'my body needs' to go for a walk... and thats a fantastic way to feel! its so good to be getting active again, and actually starting to feel good about myself!!

And the other fun and exciting thing I have been doing is playing around with Intenet dating with Oasis Active. I have been having a ball!! I have been talking to lots of guys, and have physically met one of them, and am planning to meet up with him again this weekend. And I have another one that is keen to meet up with me next week. So this has been a fantastic distraction, and a way to talk to lots of different men without having to go out and do the pub thing, or trying to work up the courage to talk to people in social settings.

And finally I have been doing some things on my own, and have been learning to enjoy my own company. If you can't do that, then I think a person has problems. I am going away to Renmark this weekend, and am going to go up in a hot air balloon weather permitting. And I'm doing this on my own. Admittedly I'm meeeting up with someone on the sat night to enjoy the festivities, but Sunday morning is my time to enjoy life, and do the things I want to do. And I'm finally going to meet up with Froggy on Sunday which I am really looking forward to!!

So all in all things are going OK in the world of Leanne. Feeling much happier, and more alive than what I have for a few years. And things can only get better from now on!!

4 weeks on

So its been 4 weeks since we split, and I have really not coped very well at all on some days. Other days I have been OK, and managed keep it together. Today and tomorrow are likely to be sad, and I'm certainly feeling that this morning. So so flat.

I got the house & mortgage all organised, and settlement is tomorrow. So I will be in debt up to my eyeballs and beyond, but the house will be mine and completely in my name. So tomorrow for me really is the finish of it all. There will be no ties to Andrew with the house, except for the few things he still has around.

I really understand the concept of a broken heart, but am thankful we can remain friends. Andrew and I spent a couple of days at the V8 racing a few weeks ago, and that was really good. We both had a great weekend, and got along quite well.

I guess my thing is that I'm just so so angry that we couldn't make it work, and now I'm almost 34 and single again. And I think being angry is what makes me upset, and then my head just starts thinking all sorts of things, and then I'm going round and round in circles.

I KNOW thats its best we are not together, and I KNOW that if we move back in together that things will go back to how they were, so why do I get so sad? Cause I'm lonely. I honestly thought I'd cope being on my own in my house, but the reality is that I'm not coping very well at all. My best friend is in Melb, my other one lives too far away and has a bub so can't come over at night, and I don't have too many other friends who can come over or I can go visit. Facebook is my best mate at the moment as it keeps me occupied.

I'm a real introvert, so the whole I idea of going out on my own and meeting people just scares the crap outa me. I admire Chris H, who seems to be able to natter to anyone, and loves to meet new people - I'm just so not like that.

I guess I just have to come outa my shell and try harder.... But I'm not sure if I'm ready yet? Who knows. I just feel a little lost at the moment, and look forward to feeling happier sooner rather than later. Breaking up is hard to do - and this would have to be ther worst one I've been through.

Sad Ending - but new beginning?

Andrew and I broke up this week, and it broke my heart to have to do it. But things have not been too good for a while, and I couldn't keep living in this unhappy relationship. I wish so bad that we didn't have to end it, but he couldn't change, and neither could I, so it was just better to break up. 4.5 years of being together means a sad breakup.

He moved out today, and my brother and I helped him. We have been nice to each other, no nastiness.... and this has made the whole break up easier to deal with. Once you start being nasty to each other, then things go downhill real quick.

I get to keep the house, and have to sort out everything this week with regards to the mortgage, and title. I think everything will be Ok with that, as long as people don't keep talking into Andrew's ear. I just wanted it all softer ASAP.

So I'm feeling a bit down at the moment, and think I will for a while. I don't hate Andrew and the that can make it harder to move forward, but I'll just have to do my best. At least I will be able to re-focus on my weight loss now.... living on my own will make things much easier.

Bling & Stuff

Its been a few weeks sice I posted... but its been kinda busy.

I survived my trip to China. I got all the work done I was meant to, and then spent about 6 hours hanging in hong kong airport waiting for my flight on the Tuesday... so I bought myself some "Tiffany & Co" bling. This is called a grafitti squiggle, and it suits be perfectly!!! I were it on a chain around my neck, and looks cool. Very me.

Since the trip was mostly work, I didn't do much other stuff, and cause my back was misbehaving, it was hard to do much. I ended up getting seat upgrade to Premium economy on the way home, and that made for a nicer trip... not so squashy! I didn't get much sleep so was rather tired when I finally got home on the Wednesday.

And things have just been busy since getting home. I had my girlfriends over last sat night night for a dinner and a sleep over which was great, we had fun night with girly talk and just enjoying each others company. I love my girls mel and Bec.

And in other news I have gotten out of hospital today...

Such an attractive look!! Had another op on my nose to try to help my breathing. Since my nose job 2.5years ago, things haven't been right, so I went to a different doc, and he decided that there were some unusual things happening in my nose that was causing it to get blocked at night time. So off I want for my op... and now I'm home again. I'm not too sore at the moment, but the drugs help with that :). I have the next few days off work, and go back on the Wed next week. Just enought time to relax and heal up.

The only real downer was when the anesthetist exclaimed I was VERY BIG, and said this about 4 times....and made it seem like it was going to be dangerous.... so I ended up in tears heading into the op...but it all worked out Ok, and I'm safely home.

So we all know what this means...Leanne really needs to pull her finger out and lose these damn kilos.

Made it to Hong Kong!!

I'm finally sitting here in my hotel room in Hong Kong with a lovely view from my hotel room. Thankfully I got an early check in at 8:30am, and didn't have to wait until 2pm. Planning to relax for a few hours before veturing out to have a look around. I'm not too fussed about seeing too much stuff, I'll just go for a wander check out some shops and then probably go to the harbour tonight to see the laser light show.

The flight here was good, I managed to sleep for about 4 hours which I was quite happy with. My seat was great...had heaps of leg room which made for a more comfy trip. My back has held out quite well, and was only twinging for about an hour last night and thats it.

I get a car to Shenzhen tomorrow morning to go to the factory to do the work part of my trip. I'm hoping that it will take me about 6 hours to do.... fingers crossed I don't have to go back on Tuesday. I want to be able to go for a walk around Shenzhen on Tuesday morning before I head back to Hong Kong airport tuesday night for my flight home.

Such a quick trip!!! But as long as the work stuff goes well tomorrow it will all be worth it!

Have decided I'm back on the weight watching wagon next week. I have had enough of looking like a hefer, so its time to sort it out.

Anyhoo, time to chill out in front of the telly for a while and have a snooze.

Accupuncture - nothing like a bit of a prick!

Friday afternoon I went to see if I could get an appointment with an accupuncturist I have seen on and off for about 15 years. Lucky for me they could fit me in immediately!! My back was still causing me a lot of grief, and I went to see the accupuncturist for some pain relief. I'm not sure how many needles he used, but I think it was around 6, all of them in my lumar region and hips. He also used a technique called cupping where they use glass cups to suck the skin up.

This is supposed to help rejuvinate the qi in the body, and help with pain reduction, and deep tissue repair. It was a very strange feeling, and hurt only a littel bit in one area, but I couldn't see the halm in it. It left some awesome red circles though!!

The day after treatment I felt terrible, but that is also due to the chiro visit. I always feel worse the next day after seeing him. But Yesterday and today my pain has lessened quite a bit, and I'm feeling quite OK. Compared to 1 and half weeks ago, my pain is at about an 4 instead of a 10.

So, I think I should be OK for China now. I'll make the final decision on Thursday whether to go, but I should be OK. I'm having another accupuncture visit on Friday, and off to the Chiro today... so I'm slowly getting there. When I can stop taking panadine forte altogether I will be a happy lady.