Time for an update

Well the weight loss has slowed since my last post, but I have lost 20kg now. Just writing that figure down astounds me, and the best thing about it is that I have done it on my own! So it can happen if you really want it to.

The trip to Sydney was wonderful, and Dave and I had such a lovely time. Trip to the Flinder's ranges was also wonderful, aside from sprqaining the other ankle. I tell ya, it has not been a good year for me and my feet. 2 sprained ankles in 2 months. I was NOT a happy lady when I did that. So we didn't even get to go for a walk at Wilpena... I was PISSED RIGHT OFF. But I didn't let it ruin the weekend, and we ended up spending the Sunday 4WD'ing and checking out some beautiful places and views.This pic was taken on the Sunday and is my favourite... it looks like a painting. It was so beauitful up here. Rawnsley's Bluff... where we were supposed to walk to - I think this is the closest I will get for a while... its gonna be about a year before I can get back to thsi place and walk up there.

My love of trees get the better of me sometimes and I just had to have a look inside... of course I manged to sqeeze inside it, and give it a hug :-)

So the Flinders trip was great... it was very green up here which is very unsual for the middle of South Australia. I can't wait to go back, and this trip has just confirmed my love for the Australian outback, and how happy I am when I am out in the country.

Things with Dave are going very well... it think I have found 'THE ONE'. You know, that person that you are just meant to be with. I am so happy that I start to wonder whether positive Karma has finally come my way after all the years of crap with my ex. Love is a wonderful thing, and I have never felt so content.

We are heading to Perth in a few weeks for a small holiday for 4 days, and I am really in need of the break. Work has been pretty stressful for the past few months, so am looking forward to just having some time out - Christmas holidays is going to be such a relief this year - almost 2 weeks away... 2 weeks to re-energise. And then at the end of January I'll have been at my work for 10 years!! Long Service leave!! YAY! I don't get 10 weeks off, but get paid out with the option of taking some time... so Dave and I are probably going to go away bush somewhere I think for a few weeks.

Soo all in all life is travelling pretty well. As long as I stop spraining ankles I'll be fine!! xxx

16kg and shrinking!

I can't belive that I have lost 16.3 kilos since February. And the weight is just falling off. I eat well, but have not done much exercise lately because I sprained my ankle on a bush walk 4 weeks ago. But the weight is still coming off.

I think being happy and content in life is making a huge difference, and I am very determined to get back down to the 85-88 kilos I used to be. Only 25kg to go now! I went to Melb on the weekend to visit my friend, and went and did some clothes shopping - I am finally back into an XL. It was fantastic to put on XXL and go 'no this is too big' and have to go to an XL.

In my last post I mentioned my new friend Dave, well things have progressed rather well with him, and I can now safely call him my 'boyfriend'. :) I am so amazingly happy with him... he is super smart, likes to talk, and likes to make me talk and think. He listens to me, and actaully has an opinion about things, and loves to ask questions. My brain is getting so stimulated it is AWESOME!!! We are off for a brief trip to Sydney in a few weeks, and then off to the Flinder's ranges in October for bushwalking and camping. Looking forward to it all so much!!

Since I sprained my ankle we haven't really done any walking, so finally this weekend, we are planning to get back inot the bush and go for a walk. I am so excited about it... I have missed it so much!!

So all in all things are going very well in my life at the moment. Aside from mum being sick that is... but I am trying not to let that get to me too much... cause it just brings me down. I still visit her and dad once a week minimum, so at least I am getting to spend time with her.

Life is good... !!

10% - I ROCK!!!

Today I reached Milestone number 1.... I have lost 10% of my body weight since February. That makes it 12.6kg total. I am so so proud of myself, and you know what, I have done it all on my own! No Weight Watchers, no Jenny Craig, no Meal replacements... Just pure willpower and determination. And a lot of damn hard work at the gym and out walking. Oh and eating really really well.

I am so so happy at the moment! Things are travelling so well in my life. I am dropping the kilos, I am happy at work, and I have met a wonderful man. He is only a friend at the moment, and I hope for something more, but I'm just going go with the flow and see how things travel with him. If it doesn't happen, then I'll be disappointed, but I will have made a wonderful new friend.

I have been doing a bit of hiking in the hills and loving every minute of it. Have been going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week, and am loving having a personal trainer. I love feeling sore for a few days after I have seen him... cause it makes me remember how hard I have worked.

My life has changed hugely since breaking up with Andrew. I feel so alive and in control, and doing the things I want to do. I am achieving my weighloss goals, and becomming so much fitter and stronger. I am doing a 12km fun run/walk in September, and I think I will achieve that easily. Next year in Oct I want to do a 100km walk in a 24hr period.... This is my big exercise goal, and I plan to train hard for it over the next 12 months. And my new friend Dave is keen to do it with me.

So the next few months are filled with more exercise and good eating, 2 trips to Melbourne, and trip to the Flinders Ranges (with Dave :-) ), and then a trip to Perth in Nov. I think I will need the Christmas holidays to rest!!

And you know what I think is one of the key things to my weight loss... I am HAPPY. Sure I have stresses in my life, but I am learning not to let them get to me like I used to. Mum has been in hospital for 5 weeks, and as sad and stressful as that is, I have not let it bring me down. I go to the gym or for a walk and just work away the worries. And having a new friend in my life certainly helps too.

So Leanne's world is OK at the moment...

Still here!

I haven't had the inclination to post since my last one. Life has been very up and down, but am pleased to be riding on an UP wave at the moment!!

I have spent a bit of time thinking about life in general, and spent a day by myself at a town along the coat to try to get my head around things. Since doing that I have been feeling so much better, and so much happier with life. I am moving forward, and although I still feel down when I think about Andrew sometimes, on the whole I am a lot better.

I have been actively losing weight, and have lost 7.5kg since the beginning of March. Its not HEAPS, but its a good start,a nd I am determined to drop a lot more weight over the next 18 months. I'm really pissed I let myself become so big, but the main thing is I'm doing something about it now. I joined a gym, and have a personal trainer, so I am really getting some good exercise and strength training in. I still walk 2 times a week, and the most amazing thing was this week I needed to go for a walk on Monday cause I hadn't been for 4 days. It wasn't a 'i want' to go, it was a 'my body needs' to go for a walk... and thats a fantastic way to feel! its so good to be getting active again, and actually starting to feel good about myself!!

And the other fun and exciting thing I have been doing is playing around with Intenet dating with Oasis Active. I have been having a ball!! I have been talking to lots of guys, and have physically met one of them, and am planning to meet up with him again this weekend. And I have another one that is keen to meet up with me next week. So this has been a fantastic distraction, and a way to talk to lots of different men without having to go out and do the pub thing, or trying to work up the courage to talk to people in social settings.

And finally I have been doing some things on my own, and have been learning to enjoy my own company. If you can't do that, then I think a person has problems. I am going away to Renmark this weekend, and am going to go up in a hot air balloon weather permitting. And I'm doing this on my own. Admittedly I'm meeeting up with someone on the sat night to enjoy the festivities, but Sunday morning is my time to enjoy life, and do the things I want to do. And I'm finally going to meet up with Froggy on Sunday which I am really looking forward to!!

So all in all things are going OK in the world of Leanne. Feeling much happier, and more alive than what I have for a few years. And things can only get better from now on!!

4 weeks on

So its been 4 weeks since we split, and I have really not coped very well at all on some days. Other days I have been OK, and managed keep it together. Today and tomorrow are likely to be sad, and I'm certainly feeling that this morning. So so flat.

I got the house & mortgage all organised, and settlement is tomorrow. So I will be in debt up to my eyeballs and beyond, but the house will be mine and completely in my name. So tomorrow for me really is the finish of it all. There will be no ties to Andrew with the house, except for the few things he still has around.

I really understand the concept of a broken heart, but am thankful we can remain friends. Andrew and I spent a couple of days at the V8 racing a few weeks ago, and that was really good. We both had a great weekend, and got along quite well.

I guess my thing is that I'm just so so angry that we couldn't make it work, and now I'm almost 34 and single again. And I think being angry is what makes me upset, and then my head just starts thinking all sorts of things, and then I'm going round and round in circles.

I KNOW thats its best we are not together, and I KNOW that if we move back in together that things will go back to how they were, so why do I get so sad? Cause I'm lonely. I honestly thought I'd cope being on my own in my house, but the reality is that I'm not coping very well at all. My best friend is in Melb, my other one lives too far away and has a bub so can't come over at night, and I don't have too many other friends who can come over or I can go visit. Facebook is my best mate at the moment as it keeps me occupied.

I'm a real introvert, so the whole I idea of going out on my own and meeting people just scares the crap outa me. I admire Chris H, who seems to be able to natter to anyone, and loves to meet new people - I'm just so not like that.

I guess I just have to come outa my shell and try harder.... But I'm not sure if I'm ready yet? Who knows. I just feel a little lost at the moment, and look forward to feeling happier sooner rather than later. Breaking up is hard to do - and this would have to be ther worst one I've been through.

Sad Ending - but new beginning?

Andrew and I broke up this week, and it broke my heart to have to do it. But things have not been too good for a while, and I couldn't keep living in this unhappy relationship. I wish so bad that we didn't have to end it, but he couldn't change, and neither could I, so it was just better to break up. 4.5 years of being together means a sad breakup.

He moved out today, and my brother and I helped him. We have been nice to each other, no nastiness.... and this has made the whole break up easier to deal with. Once you start being nasty to each other, then things go downhill real quick.

I get to keep the house, and have to sort out everything this week with regards to the mortgage, and title. I think everything will be Ok with that, as long as people don't keep talking into Andrew's ear. I just wanted it all softer ASAP.

So I'm feeling a bit down at the moment, and think I will for a while. I don't hate Andrew and the that can make it harder to move forward, but I'll just have to do my best. At least I will be able to re-focus on my weight loss now.... living on my own will make things much easier.

Bling & Stuff

Its been a few weeks sice I posted... but its been kinda busy.

I survived my trip to China. I got all the work done I was meant to, and then spent about 6 hours hanging in hong kong airport waiting for my flight on the Tuesday... so I bought myself some "Tiffany & Co" bling. This is called a grafitti squiggle, and it suits be perfectly!!! I were it on a chain around my neck, and looks cool. Very me.

Since the trip was mostly work, I didn't do much other stuff, and cause my back was misbehaving, it was hard to do much. I ended up getting seat upgrade to Premium economy on the way home, and that made for a nicer trip... not so squashy! I didn't get much sleep so was rather tired when I finally got home on the Wednesday.

And things have just been busy since getting home. I had my girlfriends over last sat night night for a dinner and a sleep over which was great, we had fun night with girly talk and just enjoying each others company. I love my girls mel and Bec.

And in other news I have gotten out of hospital today...

Such an attractive look!! Had another op on my nose to try to help my breathing. Since my nose job 2.5years ago, things haven't been right, so I went to a different doc, and he decided that there were some unusual things happening in my nose that was causing it to get blocked at night time. So off I want for my op... and now I'm home again. I'm not too sore at the moment, but the drugs help with that :). I have the next few days off work, and go back on the Wed next week. Just enought time to relax and heal up.

The only real downer was when the anesthetist exclaimed I was VERY BIG, and said this about 4 times....and made it seem like it was going to be dangerous.... so I ended up in tears heading into the op...but it all worked out Ok, and I'm safely home.

So we all know what this means...Leanne really needs to pull her finger out and lose these damn kilos.

Made it to Hong Kong!!

I'm finally sitting here in my hotel room in Hong Kong with a lovely view from my hotel room. Thankfully I got an early check in at 8:30am, and didn't have to wait until 2pm. Planning to relax for a few hours before veturing out to have a look around. I'm not too fussed about seeing too much stuff, I'll just go for a wander check out some shops and then probably go to the harbour tonight to see the laser light show.

The flight here was good, I managed to sleep for about 4 hours which I was quite happy with. My seat was great...had heaps of leg room which made for a more comfy trip. My back has held out quite well, and was only twinging for about an hour last night and thats it.

I get a car to Shenzhen tomorrow morning to go to the factory to do the work part of my trip. I'm hoping that it will take me about 6 hours to do.... fingers crossed I don't have to go back on Tuesday. I want to be able to go for a walk around Shenzhen on Tuesday morning before I head back to Hong Kong airport tuesday night for my flight home.

Such a quick trip!!! But as long as the work stuff goes well tomorrow it will all be worth it!

Have decided I'm back on the weight watching wagon next week. I have had enough of looking like a hefer, so its time to sort it out.

Anyhoo, time to chill out in front of the telly for a while and have a snooze.

Accupuncture - nothing like a bit of a prick!

Friday afternoon I went to see if I could get an appointment with an accupuncturist I have seen on and off for about 15 years. Lucky for me they could fit me in immediately!! My back was still causing me a lot of grief, and I went to see the accupuncturist for some pain relief. I'm not sure how many needles he used, but I think it was around 6, all of them in my lumar region and hips. He also used a technique called cupping where they use glass cups to suck the skin up.

This is supposed to help rejuvinate the qi in the body, and help with pain reduction, and deep tissue repair. It was a very strange feeling, and hurt only a littel bit in one area, but I couldn't see the halm in it. It left some awesome red circles though!!

The day after treatment I felt terrible, but that is also due to the chiro visit. I always feel worse the next day after seeing him. But Yesterday and today my pain has lessened quite a bit, and I'm feeling quite OK. Compared to 1 and half weeks ago, my pain is at about an 4 instead of a 10.

So, I think I should be OK for China now. I'll make the final decision on Thursday whether to go, but I should be OK. I'm having another accupuncture visit on Friday, and off to the Chiro today... so I'm slowly getting there. When I can stop taking panadine forte altogether I will be a happy lady.

Shuffling Along

So, its been 5 days since I hurt my back, and I'm doing OK. Today was actually a really bad day - I was hurting pretty bad this morning, and its carried over during the day, so I came home early. Compared to last Friday my pain has lessened quite a bit but I am still on Panadine Forte...but have cut this down to half of what I was having on the weekend - 3 a day now which is OK. Andrew was much better on Sunday with helping me. I think he realised how much pain I was in, and did the things I asked him to do, so an improvement on his wanker behavoiur the day before.

My boss really really upset me today. I have been thinking about what caused this issue and I remember picking up something at work on the Thursday, and felt my back twinge a little bit, but thought nothing much of it. A few hours later I was in a lot of pain but didn't relate it back to what I lifted. I told him this today, and he turned around and said to me, 'are you ignoring the elephant in the room'. I didn't know what he meant, and then he said that the reason I have this back problem is becuase I have put on so much weight and basically fobbed off that I hurt myself doing something at work. Now that upset me, cause no medical person I saw mentioned this to me, not even my chiro.

I know I'm overweight, and having been making a real effort to do something about it- and have been feeling the best I have in ages, and then this happened with my back. So now walking is out the window and all I can do is watch my food...which at the moment is not going so well, but is not totally out of control.

so I have a boss who thinks I'm fat and blames that for my sore back.... not happy.

I just want the pain to go away now, I have had enough of it. I feel for anyone that puts up with constant pain, I really do. Chiro thinks I'll have pain for the rest of the week into next week and about 8 weeks for me to get back to normal. Regarding physio, I have not had good experiences with physio's, so don't go to visit them and would rather stay with my chiro. Thanks for the advice though Colleen.

Hopefully trip to China on the 30th will go ahead OK. Thankfully its only a few days over there on my own, so no obligation to do anything with other people. So sleeping when I want and relaxing when I want.... Not really excited about going, but it will be a good thing to do on my own

so so annoyed

I've hurt my back - apparently I have hurt a disk in my Lumbar spine. I'm not happy at all. I was in so much pain Thursday night even after taking Panadine Forte that I spent most of the evening in tears. Then went to Chiro on Friday and he only did a little bit of feeling around and adjustment, and by the time he strappped up my back and I tried to get up I was in tears again. I'd takenb 2 Panadine Fortes in the morning, and it didn't even seem to touch the pain.

Chiro told me to go to a doc to get some more painkillers, something stronger than the panadine, so I went across to my semi-regular doc, and he had so many people in the waiting room that I would have gone stir crazy if I had waited there. So I went home and had Andrew take me to the local medical centre. We waited for 1.5 hours, and when people who had arrived after me started going in I got Andrew to go check, and they didn't have my papaerwork in the pile. I was very annoyed by this time.

I fianlly got to see a doc who was useless and refused to give me anything stronger than panadine. he inisited I get an xray before doing anything else, and I honestly think that he thought I was one of those people just trying to get drugs. He didn't like that I went to a chiro and insisted it was muscular not a disk - but he didn't even touch me - just asked me to move around.

So he just gave me more Panadine forte, and anit inflammatories and to get an xray. Of course the Xray place was shut so that didn't happen. I don't want to go back to that place because the doc was terrible. So I'm sitting at home in pain even though I have taken the panadine and the Brufen and waiting till Monday to go see my normal doc.

i am so so annoyed. I have never hurt my back this bad before, and it has really hit me for a sixer - I can't bend down walking and sitting hurts, and I 'm consistantly in pain. I'm going to China in 2 weeks, so if I don't get a bit better before then, then the whole trip could be cancelled.

and the worst thing is I don't know what I have done. I'm sad, and Andrew is getting annoyed when I ask him to do things. Thats pissing me off so much. Its not like I did this on purpose, and he's just being a dickhead about it. its situations like this that really test things, and he is failing with flying colours. Not even being able to bend down to get something is so so frustrating. Why can't he just be a support instead of a wanker?

HOT HOT HOT!!!

Today is going to be 43deg C. Way way too hot for me. I'll be hibernating inside under the airconditioner for most of the day. We have to go out to a birthday party later this arvo, but that should be OK as its inside and they have airconditioning.

I went back to work on Wed, and in a strange way it was nice to be back. My brain spent most of the holidays in relax mode, and it was time for it to get back into thinking mode. And then my boss sprung it on me that his wife is pregnant! Good work I say....this means she leaves work in June..... :)

I have decide to study this year, and keep trudging on with trying to get my accounting degree. The subject I have chosen is one I have failed twice before....so I am determined to pass it this time around!! I took last year off from study, so its time to get back into it. I only have 5 subject to go before I get my degree, so 2 this year, and then 3 next year, and I'll be done!!!!

I have been doing heaps of walking in the holidays, and am planning to walk for half an hour each morning before work during summer. I am determined to both lose weight and get fitter, so a walk each day is a step in the right direction.

But for today I am planting my arse in front of the TV and the airconditioner and am trying to keep cool. I hate this hot weather, and can't wait for winter.